"We've named our entire galaxy after the secretions of a cow's udders."
"Aliens invaded the moon on July 20th, 1969."
"At one point you were the youngest being in the entire universe, and at another point you will be the next being to die."
"Your shadow is a confirmation that light has traveled nearly 93 million miles unobstructed, only to be deprived of reaching the ground in the final few feet by you."
"Life on Earth is the cosmic equivalent of what happens when you don't store things in a cool dry place."
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